


My Ship Went Down

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I apologise, It just happened, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Self-Harm, it wasn't supposed to end that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Harry and Zayn. Wasn't always Harry and Zayn. Now it will never be Harry and Zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Ship Went Down

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God I have no idea what happened and I hate myself.
> 
> Title taken from Therapy by All Time Low.
> 
> Happy Easter guys!

If you asked Liam, he'd say Harry and Zayn were the most unlikely couple he'd ever laid eyes on.

If you asked Niall, he'd tell you they were so unbelievably pretty together they'd hurt your eyes if you looked at them for too long.

And if you asked Louis, he'd give you all the juicy gossip on their sex life. (Which is why people rarely talk to Louis). 

Harry and Zayn, indeed the most unlikely, pretty and sexual couple in the whole of their high school.

Harry was a socialite, Zayn was a loner. Harry liked to write, Zayn preferred to draw. Sometimes Harry sang, and most times Zayn would dance. Harry's eyes were a wild green, Zayn's were a reserved yet burning orange. Harry was pale, lips the colour of ripened cherries. Zayn was tanned, lips the pale pink of a summer evening's sunset. Harry's chocolate hair was a mop of messy, ridiculous, unruly curls, Zayn's hair was as dark and mysterious as a raven, straight and gelled upwards. Harry was a bottomer, Zayn was a topper. Harry was a taker, and Zayn was a giver.

They'd been going to the same high school for years, but only recently had Harry found the sense to notice the boy.

In Liam's version of the story it was a simple love at first sight moment. From across the room their eyes met and they knew they'd be together forever.

Niall's was a bit different. He was convinced that Harry brainwashed Zayn into going out with him, because he could provide no other logical explanation as to why someone like Harry would want someone like Zayn.

And Louis believed that the pair got it on in the music department's storage cupboard, and the rest is history. (Which was a little inaccurate, but whatever floats his boat).

Sadly, both Niall and Liam were wrong. Harry thinks the story of how they met is boring, but Zayn thinks it's beautifully simple. It was raining, as it always is in trashy romantic novels, and Zayn was in the library studying for some important final. He found that the most logical thing to do was cram the most information he could into his brain within a few hours, that he should have slowly been digesting over the period of a few weeks. The library was silent, save for the sound of the librarian's computer mouse and the person sniffling slightly as they delved deeper into the depths of the tragic romantic stories the shelves had to offer. The serenity was soon smashed as a tall, rain-sodden figure crashed through the doors. He swore under his breath as he tripped over his trailing scarf and yelped as his hip bashed on a table, earning himself a loud "shh!" from the ancient librarian. 

As the figure moved closer Zayn recognised it as Harry, one of the most popular (and beautiful) boys in school. As he plonked himself down opposite Zayn and yanked some tattered notebooks from his bag, Zayn carried on working. There was no point in trying to talk to him, as Harry had no idea who Zayn was. (How cliché.) Zayn huffed and turned the page of his textbook, his eyes skimming over the pointlessness that was mitosis and meiosis, throwing the occasional glance in Harry's direction. Zayn saw Harry was also studying bio but was looking at specialised cells, he was right at the beginning of the chapter.

A few hours and some gained knowledge of DNA and chromosomes later, Zayn looked up to see Harry was now on the same mitosis page Zayn had been on.

"Erm, excuse me?"

Zayn whipped his head up and saw Harry's focused on him. "Me?"

'Of course it's you Zayn, you idiot' Zayn mentally face-palmed.

"Yeah, erm, I was just wondering... Well when I came in you were on the mitosis page and now I am and I don't get it. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you perhaps help me?"

Zayn admired Harry the whole time he was speaking, the way his red lips curled around each word and the way his wild eyes stood out against his pale skin.

"Sure, Harry"

"How do you know my name?" Harry looked shocked.

Shit. "Oh erm, we go to the same school... You're in my biology class. And my english class. And my music class. And my-"

"Whoa, really? How comes I've never seen you before?"

"Well erm, you have your like, clique, or whatever," Zayn shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I can't believe I've never noticed you before," Harry breathed out, more to himself than Zayn. "What's your name?"

"Zayn"

"That's a beautiful name," Harry gave no time for a response as he then said "so how about mitosis?"

And that was it. Zayn helped Harry and Zayn and Harry sat their final and when the results came out and they saw that they had passed they celebrated, and they celebrated in style, and soon best friends turned lovers and as they say, the rest is history.

It's amazing how well the boys get on, they seem connected somehow, so finely tuned that when one is upset so is the other. They rarely argue, but when they do it's heated, explosive, any tension released by way of abuse. But that's only Harry, Zayn stays oddly calm.

Liam gets upset when Harry and Zayn fight.

Niall gets scared.

Louis gets a good laugh and tells everyone they're sexually frustrated.

It happened a week after Zayn fell down the stairs at school and sprained his ankle. Harry looked after him the first few days, brought him food and kissed his forehead, gave him a massage when Zayn complained that it hurt.

But after those days he stopped showing up at Zayn's door after school. Zayn frowned, let him off the first time, maybe he had homework? The second day Zayn texted Harry "where are you babe? Miss you :(". Zayn received no reply but reluctantly left it again. The third day, Harry eventually showed up. Although that was putting it lightly, he showed up and sat in Zayn's living room, not talking and biting the skin around his nails. When he got up and left after twenty minutes Zayn felt a bit sad, to put it plainly.

Why was Harry being so distant? What had Zayn done, had he even done anything? 

The next day Zayn called Harry and requested he come to visit him. Harry showed up about an hour later, eyes dark and eyebrows furrowed, his lips bitten to shreds. 

"Harry, are you okay?" Zayn asked when they were both seated and Zayn had repositioned his ankle.

"Yeah fine."

Zayn frowned.

"I think you're lying"

"I'm not lying"

Zayn's tone softened. "Harry, you're obviously not okay. What's going on?"

"I told you, nothing. Everything's fine"

Harry's teeth visibly gritted as he ground out the lie.

"Are you sure? You know you can always tell me any-"

"My God, why are you so damn nosey?! Always wanting to know what's going on, always up in my face asking me how I am. I just told you, I'm fine!" Harry roared, jumping up from his seat.

Zayn blinked.

"I- " 

"No Zayn, I'm sick of you always wanting to know my business. Why can't you just accept that when I tell you I'm fine, it means I'm fine?!"

Zayn was dumbfounded. He was completely unaware as to where Harry's rant had sprung from. Harry always told Zayn everything, regardless if he asked or not. His point made no sense, and as Zayn opened his mouth to reply, Harry was off again, pacing around Zayn's living room.

"I'm fine, I don't need you asking me all the time. I don't want you asking all the time-"

Zayn tuned out, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend and the total bull he was talking. When Harry stopped to take a break Zayn finally managed to get a word in.

"Have you finished? Can I talk now? Right yeah well, what you're saying is wrong and you know that-"

Harry opened his mouth to protest.

"-let me finish. You know that I'm not 24/7 asking you how you are and even if I am, it's to ensure you're okay and it's because I care. Don't make me sound like a bad guy for caring about my boyfriend. You always tell me what's wrong anyway, but if you don't want to I respect that. I just need to clarify that you are actually okay and not lying to me, but judging by the amount of times you said you were fine a minute ago, I can assume that you are not."

Harry was silent, taking in the raven's words. He stayed quiet for ages and Zayn could almost hear the ticking of his brain.

"I'm not okay," Harry all but whispered.

Zayn opened his arms and let his boyfriend fall into them. "I know," he whispered, kissing his curls and rubbing his arm.

When it was found Zayn and Harry were no longer together, the whole school was silenced. No one thought the perfectly imperfect couple would see an end, although unfortunately they did.

Liam cried.

Niall cried.

Even Louis cried.

It was late when Zayn got the call. His mouth fell when the words crackled through the receiver and he grabbed his coat leaving the words said hanging in the air like dull cigarette smoke.

He drove. Drove and drove until he reached his destination. He ran through about four red light signals and avoided the ear piercing scream of police sirens before he finally reached Harry.

Pale and lifeless. Lips dry and hair thinned. Lilac eyelids rested close, eyelashes dancing on hollow cheekbones. Blue lips were parted, shallow breaths escaping. Wrists were turned upwards, revealing a map of ugly white scars, roads of faint red cuts. 

Zayn gently took his boyfriend's hand, subconsciously ran his fingers over the bony knuckles. 

Even his hand felt thinner than usual. 

There was a soft sniffling coming from the corner of the room as Harry's mother cried, wallowing in pity, hating herself now more than Harry ever hated himself for not knowing sooner.

Zayn knew. Zayn had known for a while. Harry was killing himself. There was nothing Zayn could do, although God knows he tried. Harry wanted to die, blamed himself for his parents' recent divorce and his sister's departure. He was failing school, nothing left to live for, he'd once told Zayn.

So Zayn let him do it, he let his boyfriend kill himself. People may call him stupid and selfish and just damn cruel for letting it happen, but Zayn knew deep down that he was doing the right thing. He was giving Harry what he wanted, and Harry was thankful for that.

A continuous high-pitched beep cut the heavy silence in the room, signally finally that Harry had departed. Harry's mother let out a strangled sob and Zayn's heart wrenched.

He pressed a feather-light kiss to Harry's forehead and whispered a "goodnight angel" before attending to Harry's mother and silencing her desperate cries.


End file.
